I'm Back........

After a long hiatus, and an evening that made me have a nervous break down, I decided I needed to write again. Over these long months, there have been many hilarious moments. Most of which have been blocked from my memory. So, I will just start with what happened last night.

For some moronic reason, this past week my kids have been in three different summer camps on three different parts of town. The morning goes pretty smooth, since I have help taking my daughter to her Girl Scout Camp. The afternoon is hell.

Since my (almost) 13 year old has football camp until 4, and I work until 4:30, his friend's grandmother picked him up. He had STRICT instructions to go home afterwards. I started calling him around 4:30 and there was no answer. No answer to any of the 35 calls I made. I knew he was fine and probably at his friend's house, but I was already so exhausted that it was making me tilt on the edge of sanity.

My youngest is now almost 6 and he spent the day at the water park with my friend Melissa and her kids (what a saint). Luckily he was at her house so I didn't have to rush to his camp and be mauled by a pack of little girls. Or the camp teacher. (I will save those stories for another day)

I make the drive, through the woods, to my 7 year old daughter's Girl Scout Camp (still calling the oldest the whole way). When I get out of the car, I scan the group of girls to find her. She has a bit of a sun burn and is VERY dirty. The girl she was playing with was even dirtier. She waved but made no attempt to come near me. I went to sign her out and one of the (too cheerful) camp counselors hands me a paper that says, "Please send your child with money to spend at The Trading Post tomorrow..." (or something like that) I glance up with a look of confusion on my face. I say, "Are you telling me you are taking the girls to a BAR tomorrow?" (The Trading Post is a bar in town) They all laughed and reassured me that it was not the BAR but the camp store. I then mumbled, "at this point I am so tired, I wouldn't even care." Mia was not ready to go because she and her new (filthy) friend were playing "ping-pong". The game clearly was not ping-pong and did not even look enjoyable. Finally, I gathered her things and we got out of there.

Next stop was to pick up the youngest. After another 20-30 minute drive (and a text from Mel saying he had fallen asleep) we arrived to an already ready and out the door child (man she rocks). Now I was PSYCHOTICALLY calling oldest's friend's mom, uncle, son's phone and coach. I got home and his friend was playing basketball in our driveway (love this kid). I asked him if he was there (no). I drove the TWO BLOCKS to my ex husband's house to see if he was there (no). I went back home and "friend" suggested I go in the house, get son's phone and look up the other friend's number. Jackpot. Phone was there. I called the friend and it went straight to voicemail (ugh). I hopped BACK in the car and decided to drive over to the neighborhood where the friend lives. I could not remember which house it was, so I gave up and went to the store to buy food for dinner and, obviously, wine. At this point the friend's mom called and said he was at their house. Carter failed to mention he was supposed to go home. That was when I realized he had a baseball game in an hour and a half.......

I had been texting with my ex this whole time about the missing child and the possible Adam Alert I was going to call. When I drove past his house on the way to the "neighbohood search", he and his girlfriend were outside talking. I slowed down, rolled down the window and yelled, "I still can't find him and I am going to drive and look!!!!!!!!! So, after I picked him up (and yelled at him in front of his friend, then cried) I texted my ex that he would NOT be going to his baseball game because A. he was in trouble B. I was about to have a breakdown C. the game wouldn't get over until 10:00 and the younger 2 were almost asleep . He of course started calling and texting saying he WAS going. He would take him but I had to pick him up at 10:00. (ummm, hell no) When I pulled up at home he was in my driveway playing basketball. I drove past and said something about him still not going and drove away (I was starting to become irrational). At this point his baseball coach called me (because I had tried to call earlier). I pulled over to the side of the road, got out of the car, and started SOBBING to the coach. Yep. That's right. CRIED to my son's coach about what an awful afternoon I had and how I had been in the car for two hours (blah blah blah). He told me to stay calm and assured me he did NOT have to go to his game (sigh). I got back in the car and my oldest was staring at me like I was nuts. Youngest was asleep and daughter was just about there.

FINALLY we were home. Younger two got settled on the couch to watch a DVD marathon of episodes of Punky Brewster. (can you believe I found this gem?) Oldest was in his room playing Xbox with my 4th child/neighborhood friend. I started dinner and in walks "themostamazingboyfriendinthewholeworld". He came over to help me ease out of my funk. He sorted my laundry, vacuumed, then fixed my jammed vacuum. He was WONDERFUL and I was relaxing. Then, the doorbell rang. Ex husband. He was saying he would take Carter to his game (through the door) and he needed to hurry. I let Carter go after making him a huge bowl of spaghetti to take with him. (I will never see the bowl or fork again) After about a half hour of glorious peace and sweet children eating, I got a text saying "I took him to his game. You pick him up." I almost passed out. I was just getting the kids into showers/baths/bed and I had to go pick him up in an hour???? So what did I do? I texted the coach about what the ex had done to me (again sounding like a whiny brat). He offered to take him home, so I accepted. An hour went by and I was on the couch watching Punky Brewster (alone) and I got a text from the ex saying "He just hit a home run". Yep. He was lying about leaving the game and was there the whole time.

Thank goodness today my daughter is going home from camp with her friend. My youngest is going to the drive-in with his friend and my oldest will be playing Xbox with the 4th child and ignoring me. I will be packing for my fabulous trip to Michigan to see my family. And relax. And prepare for Monday when it will most likely happen all over again.